Sputnik Sweetheart

Reading Sputnik Sweetheart made me profoundly sad. I could not pinpoint any reason for the feeling of loneliness and desolation other than perhaps a residual reaction to the disappearance of Sumire and K's own longing for her. Images of Sputnik, the world's first artificial satellite, orbiting the earth in black, empty space, all alone, kept recurring in my mind as I read this book.

I do not always understand Haruki Murakami's symbolism. Sometimes I just read for the pleasure of it, and I think that's fine. I have come to love his quintessential lonely male characters who often drink scotch and have a strong liking for classical music. I am not exactly lonely, but I must admit there were several moments in my life when I really felt depressed, sometimes because there was a compelling reason like failing to graduate with honors or being heartbroken, but sometimes for no apparent reason at all. My wife says I am naturally melancholic and I tend to agree. I would rather be alone than be in a crowd unless, ironically, I am called to speak. And I am sad more often than I am happy. I would like to be happier. I would like to smile more as people see me as always serious. That's because I probably am always serious.

I love classical music too and many forms of old music, like big band music and military marches. People are very likely to find that weird. But I have learned to be comfortable with myself. I have learned to be okay with the idea of being alone sometimes even as I truly relish the company of the people I love. Perhaps my wife sometimes feel she has a Sputnik for a sweetheart.