Sputnik Sweetheart

Reading Sputnik Sweetheart made me profoundly sad. I could not pinpoint any reason for the feeling of loneliness and desolation other than perhaps a residual reaction to the disappearance of Sumire and K's own longing for her. Images of Sputnik, the world's first artificial satellite, orbiting the earth in black, empty space, all alone, kept recurring in my mind as I read this book.

I do not always understand Haruki Murakami's symbolism. Sometimes I just read for the pleasure of it, and I think that's fine. I have come to love his quintessential lonely male characters who often drink scotch and have a strong liking for classical music. I am not exactly lonely, but I must admit there were several moments in my life when I really felt depressed, sometimes because there was a compelling reason like failing to graduate with honors or being heartbroken, but sometimes for no apparent reason at all. My wife says I am naturally melancholic and I tend to agree. I would rather be alone than be in a crowd unless, ironically, I am called to speak. And I am sad more often than I am happy. I would like to be happier. I would like to smile more as people see me as always serious. That's because I probably am always serious.

I love classical music too and many forms of old music, like big band music and military marches. People are very likely to find that weird. But I have learned to be comfortable with myself. I have learned to be okay with the idea of being alone sometimes even as I truly relish the company of the people I love. Perhaps my wife sometimes feel she has a Sputnik for a sweetheart.

Tao of Physics

I dreamed of becoming a theoretical physicist when I was a science high school student. I used to spend my two hour bus rides to my home in Cavite - only twenty kilometers away but notorious for its legendary traffic - discussing physics concepts with my best friend James. I selected Physics with Computer Engineering as my first choice at the Ateneo and I would have probably finished that course had I decided to go there instead of UP. This fascination for science was partly responsible for my atheism back then, and my skepticism towards anything mystical or supernatural. It would take years, the wisdom gained from living a decade more of real life, and the influence of my wife before I overcame my aversion towards reading books like the Tao of Physics by Frank Capra.

As I read about Buddhism and other forms of Eastern Mysticism, I began to realize how arrogant I was to think that the Western rational scientific paradigm was the supreme and only legitimate way of looking at things. As one digs deeper into quantum physics, common sense notions of space and time almost become meaningless. Probability waves, rather than definite positions and velocities, define reality. These concepts seem far removed from Newtonian mechanics and are better explained by Eastern mysticism.

I find a lot of solace in Buddhism. The ability to meditate, to find moments of stillness in the middle of the drama of others at work who create a false sense of urgency, is something I treasure. It grounds me and gives me perspective. It is, therefore, especially satisfying to find a book that is attuned with both hard core physics and the great teachings of the Eastern sages.

Ten Best of Everything

I love lists because I believe life is too short not to be spending my time on only the best. I have a list of one hundred books to read because, at the rate I am going, I can only read about three books a month, which means I can only finish 360 books in ten years. For a bookworm like me, I can only echo the quote: "so many books, so little time." I have a list of 100 films to watch and a wish list of places to go and things to buy because no matter how rich I become, there is only so much time in the world to enjoy the fine things in life. This is why Lande and Lande's Ten Best of Everything was a joy to read. It was one of those books that gave me a sense of how best to experience distant places like Africa and South America whither, if it all, I may have but once chance to go.

The book also has lists of things like the ten best watches, pens and wines. At this point, much of the list is aspirational. It will take time before I can reward myself with a Rolex or a Patek Philippe and I already consider a one thousand peso bottle of wine expensive. I do not want to be too materialistic and measure my worth through the purchase of expensive trinkets. Yet I believe the aspiration for status symbols also has its value, especially if one does not mistake the symbol of achievement with the actual one. If I really wanted to, I can buy an expensive watch right now or perhaps take out a loan to purchase a luxury car. But to do so would be to remove the value of these objects for they are precisely the best because I need to work hard for them and earn the right to enjoy them. Cheers to the good life!